Two Things I've learned in Step Aerobics Class

1. Soft-spoken instructors with a speech impediment, do not good aerobics instructors make. "To the WIGHT, to the THENTER, to the LEFT, now WEPEAT!"

2. If you're a woman and you're wearing very thin, school-bus yellow spandex bike shorts to class and you get sweaty, when you bend over to touch your toes and stretch, the people behind you will be able to see every blessed thing that God gave you "down there". If I'd have had a stick long enough, I could've given her a Pap smear. Sorry, but it's true.