Chicken Soup

It happens probably 15 times a day: Anna asks me to do something with her and I have to say, "Aw, I'd love to, but I need to--insert baby duty--Jack right now...maybe later?" But, you know as well as I do, that "later" never comes. I cringe every single time that this dialog happens between Anna and myself. Next, she acts out in some way. This causes me to act out in my own, shrill, screechy-mom kind of way. It's an ugly cycle.

The fact of the matter is that I get zero alone time with Anna. Kevin and Anna have their things that they go do and I stay home with Jack. Jack and I have tons of alone time, while Anna is at school. Except for getting to pick her up at school without Jack in tow, (who's at home with a babysitter) which occurs twice a month, we just don't ever get to spend time alone together. It eats me alive. You also need to know that I'm a master-manipulator of schedules and naps and I've got it down to a science so that, on days that Anna doesn't have school, my kids nap at the same time. Ah. Mommy needs a break.

My usual routine includes my Friday morning yoga class. I consider that my weekly "me" time because with all of the acting-out and care-giving that I do, I need some zen time indeed. Today though--today...I got a grand idea. I decided to ditch my yoga class and instead went to the gym (like normal) dropped Jack off in childwatch and then just us girls went and spent over an hour swimming in the pool at the gym. It was so, incredibly wonderful. Just me and my girl. We splashed, we sat and visited on the steps of the pool. We hugged on each other, as she clung to me, while I walked us around the deep end of the pool. And, it turns out that that time with Anna today was way more healing than my usual yoga class. She loved it. I loved it. We're doing it again as soon as we can. Next Friday morning can't get here soon enough.